From WE to ME (6/24/2017)

I did not sleep well last night and woke up emotional. I snuck around until 9:00 and then went to wake up Ian to go to Waffle House for a remembrance breakfast. Last night he told me he was going climbing and planned to be back around 10:30pm and I actually thought he would. His bed was empty and he hadn't come home. This was the final event that make me realize that he no longer needed me. He has his friends, as it should be. It doesn't occur to him that I no longer have anyone. WE -> ME!

I got in the car and started driving. Starbucks on the way out of Searcy, burned remains of Cothams in Scott, Morris Antiques in Keo, the Clinton Store (now a restaurant) for lunch. I plan to go over to Trapnell Hall and who knows where else this afternoon. For some reason, this is the worst day in a long time. I have inserted a photo Ian took of Keri and I headed across the road to Cothams when we went in January. I didn;t know that it would be our last visit together and that it would burn down in June.

I went to the Arkansas Wildlife Museum when I left the lunch spot and then walked to the River Market. I forgot to go Trapnell Hall when I left the River Market. I drove to TCBY for a chocolate malt. Then on to Cabot for the back road back to Searcy with a drive by the park in Beebe where Keri and I had lunch. Then back to Searcy, then on to Pangburn to visit where we saw the swans (Keri's swans). Our favorite spot is now fenced off with a "private property" sign. Hopefully they will open it when the swans come back. I came on up to the original swan spot. Of course, the swans are all gone, but I felt compelled to visit. I'm sitting in a lawn chair overlooking the lake typing now. Of course, this whole day has been a silly indulgence. I needed to mourn. Hopefully this will help.