Bad Day ... Bad Bad Day (9/4/2017)

It's been a really hard day. Ian seldom comes around anymore. He spends most of his time with Sarah. He did come home late without his key (after I was in bed) and, since today was Labor Day, stayed in bed this morning. Of course I had to work. He spent the last three nights away. I guess this is now my life and I'm very emotional about it. 

I was very emotional about everything at work today as well. I wish I had retired but I stayed on for Keri. Now she is gone. I'm glad I outlived her so I could take care of her those last several years but I wonder if there is anything left for me. I planned for a trip to London after Christmas but I can't even get Ian interested in doing that with me. I've been trying to get him to sit down with me for weeks to fill out the paperwork for him a new passport, but he can't be bothered. I finally did it myself and layed it on his bed. I think now it would have been better for me to go by myself. He has his life, and I guess he should get on with it. I'll take some sleeping pills and go to bed. That way I won't lay there worried about him. I wonder if he will even bother to come home tonight.