Maybe????????

Monday was certainly one of my bad, bad, bad days! All of the CSD faculty returned their Chair Evaluations and mine fell into two groups. Obviously I have some faculty that are very angry with me. They went through the survey and marked many items with a 2 on a 5 point scale. Their "below expectations" included "support for faculty development" and "keeping faculty informed." There are many things on which I can improve, but these two areas are certainly two of my strong points. It was all so upsetting because it was obviously a personal attack. 

Yesterday was better because I was able to accept that it was personal. 

Not a good day!

Keri seems to have taken a turn. She is having greater trouble getting in and out of the car. I gave her another one of her Parkinson's pills tonight. I tried it for awhile several days ago and saw this same behavior so I stopped. I thought it was related to the drug but obviously not. Hopefully, this will help. I'm also beginning to see a little hostility displayed. I hope it's not something we will see more of. 

Better Day!

Keri and I went to my Mom's to help with yard work. That's funny because I can't do my own. Keri had a good day. Mom's yard was mowed and weed (eated or et?), and I am tired with no regrets or terrors eating at me this moment. That is my current definition of a good day!

In Need of Prayers

It's funny that I would ask for prayers on a blog that no one reads and that I will certainly never tell anyone about. I've tried so hard not to be negative this time but everything is getting away from me. Keri is now attempting to sit where there is no chair fairly frequently. Tonight she had an accident and when we went into the bathroom and I tried to get her seated on the toilet, she tried to sit before she was in front of it. This is the same thing that happened in the chiropractor 's office Wednesday. When I tell her not to sit she gets mad. She also couldn't get in the tub so we couldn't get cleaned up that way. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just overwhelmed. 

We have a friend in London at HUE living in the flat occupied by the Howard's during our first trip. He is posting a photo from time to time that just makes our hearts glad, but there is no longer any correspondence between us. He believed some lies told by someone I tried to help and a another "friend." He's never asked but makes it impossible for me to talk to him. He will know someday that it was all a lie, but we will all have missed some good years. I need to throw away the box of papers that prove my side that I was told to keep for documentation. Of course, there was never a suit because she and her/"my friend" never wanted to truth presented. It was more convinient for them. 

I'm just so depressed about everything. I want to trust that Godcwill take care of everything but we are in such an impossible situation. So I need prayers and no one will see this and pray. 

Falls and Potential Falls

This has been a rough day. It began with Keri falling on the stair out of the family room. She tripped again when she arrived at Careway, but we caught her. After work, she has has trouble sitting in chairs and getting in the car. We've almost fallen multiple times. It is now apparent that Ian or I must always help her sit or move from room to room. 

County Fair Week in Searcy

Keri is loving Careway. She looks forward to going everyday, and often tries to talk about people or activities that she encounters while there. Yesterday, they all went to the White County Fair. Keri had such a good time. It exhausted her, however. She wanted to go to bed by 8:00 last night. Unfortunately, I had to keep her up until about 10:30. We know from experience that if she goes to bed early, she wakes up early. Monday night, she was ready to get up at 3:30 AM. 

"It was a good day!"

Yesterday was the gala for the Arkansas Ovarian Cancer Coalition at the Clinton Library in downtown Little Rock. Keri had looked forward to it for awhile. Her sister, Alesa, was the organizer. There were several luminaries in her honor and she enjoyed herself. Alesa gave her one of the center pieces which Keri took to Careway today. They all loved the roses. Keri said that she had had a good day last night and repeated it several times this morning. It was a good day!

The Dogwood

I'm very emotional tonight. Dear Mr. Burchfield worked in the backyard again today. He is cleaning it up. Something I can't seem to be able to do. It had to be done! He has taken out all of the azaleas, and now he has cut down the dogwood. It's kind of symbolic of our lives. There is no future. We are just living out the days we have left. I think we will just go to bed!