Progression!

I certainly wish I could post more, since I'm using this as a diary. I think Blogger and BlogSpot have really let me down. I'm sure there are many newer and better equipped blog sites, but I have used this blog for the past 17 years. There could be a blessing however, since I can't post all the day-to-day frustrations.

We are fast reaching the point that I worry about Keri's safety at home. I now must pull her everywhere. She resists, and I need to pull. There have been several times that she has slipped out of my grip and gone to the floor. She also almost refuses to take her medicine. She has to take it four times a day and she ends up screaming the three times I need to do it. I tasted the meds once and they are so bitter. It makes the pudding I mix it with just as bitter. I guess I really don't blame her, but it still has me in tears by the time it is over. She has also stopped eating here at the house. The people at Care-way say that she is still eating there, so she is at least getting some nourishment.

When I went to Care-way to pick her up, everyone looked at me strangely when I went in. Martha said Keri wasn't feeling well. There were several people gathered around her chair, and it was obvious that she had been crying. Barbara (the nurse) also added that she had been screaming. I really needed to go back to the office, but it was obvious that I needed to take her home. After the bathroom, I put her to bed and she fell right to sleep. We may not get any sleep tonight, but at least she is not screaming now.

I called Steve Hicks this afternoon. He was at Harding with me, although several years younger. He helped with the trust, and he also serves as an "elder care lawyer." Martha said I needed to talk to one. We may be at the point where I can no longer care for her at home. I have been mourning a lot more lately. I can't seem to quit crying.

Follow Me Boys!

Follow Me Boys

 

This was the movie on AETN tonight. It seems somehow appropriate after my Wood Badge weekend. The commentator said it was full of sentimentality as though that was some sort of bad thing. it was just what I needed tonight. The world needs more Scouting, but I couldn't even keep Troop 96 running. Every effort I made just resulted in more problems.

This became another "screaming" night for Keri. I'm afraid all she does now is scream and doze. Where is the "quality of life" in this last part of her life? Keri is finally quite and I am crying like a baby at the last part of Follow Me Boys.

Life Update

As I have mentioned before, Blogger and its parent company Google have not updated this app for the iPad and the iPhone. Those are the devices I have always depended on to update this blog. Because of that, I have gotten very far behind with all of my updates. I had hoped to use that as my diary and as a way to note the slow progression of Keri's condition. I can use my MAC but the times I have to write are never, I repeat, NEVER during the day when I have my MAC.

A great deal has happened since my last update in January. Of course, I am assuming no one else is reading this so I will summarize events here.

S8-18-17, my Wood Badge course is now over and we all survived. I feel that the Council showed very little support and that we successfully presented the course on our own, more or less. The professional staff advisor forgot to put my dates on the Council calendar when presented to him (March 31, 2016) and we ran the risk of not having access to the Reynolds Center. He didn't attend the Course Directors Conference, which is "required". He was away at National Camping School during our first several days. He failed to keep me posted about registrants and didn't have the t-shirt order form available for the last staff weekend. Overall, he just didn't demonstrate that he was much interested in the course. In addition, one of the DEs "announced" that the course had been cancelled right when we were desperate for numbers. There were other points, but this shows why I felt deserted. Keri also had to go with me and began to "scream" during our first weekend. New medication, two emergency room visits ($700 each for my responsibility), and a volunteer (Tonia Breeding) helped during the second weekend allowed me to do what I needed to do. I think it ended up being a great course. Ian did my staff flag and my gifts which were lazered with the staffs name and job along with the course crest and number. I'll try to post photos later.

Keri has continued to progress. I need to help her with all movement and end up feeding her a great deal of the time. She is also very anxious and now has to be on medication all the time to keep her from "screaming". We have discovered that if we miss a single dose, she begins to scream and it takes several days to get it all back under control. This new drug causes her to be sleepy all the time and nap most of the day. Yesterday morning, she woke up smiling. She was truly happy. It lasted for just a few minutes, but I'll treasure it always.