Remembered Dreams

It's early on a Sunday morning and I'm the only one up. Mom's house is quiet as I sit here in the "garden room." I'm looking around and remembering dreams that my mom and dad shared as they built this place. I can see the cabin where they lived while working on this house and garden. It was a grand adventure for both as they searched for rocks to use for the house. They worked on everything together and, except for some traveling Dad had to do for work, were never separated. They designed the house, and ordered fixtures, etc. long before they were ready to put them in. I helped occasionally, but it was always just the two of them. They had been working on it for 30+ years when Dad died. A step here, a door there. It never seemed a priority, but just an ongoing part of their adventure. When he was "slowing down" due to lung cancer (we later learned) I just assumed the house would never be finished. 

When Dad died in 2004, I just assumed that Mom would need tomive into a retirement home, but that was not to be. Mom hired individuals to finish what she and Dad had planned. She became a contractor for this house and did an amazing job. She only made one change. She had this "garden room" added. It was a brilliant addition. 

Excuse the interruption! There was just a huge crash from our bedroom. Keri had fallen out of her bed and hit her head on a shelf. There was blood everywhere but I don't think there was anything serious. I need to get a bed rail. 

"Be Quiet So I Can Hear the News"

Mom is 88 and has accomplished a great deal in her lifetime. She has survived some very difficult times by being extremely strong willed. She is an example to us all. It does get difficult if you get on the wrong side. For that reason, I have spent a great amount of my 64 years doing the best I can to meet her needs and make her happy. Most of the time I'm successful. It gets difficult with a wife with dementia and a son with a bad case of teenage independence along with ADHD. When all three are together, my stress level is extremely high in my effort to keep everyone happy. This is certainly true when it comes to planting flowers for Mom. 🎭

Items Off List

Several items have been hanging over my head and I was able to check them off my list today. I turned in my list of potential Wood Badge staff for Council approval. Chris helped a lot. I also turned in the ranking for the MCCS Scholarship awards. Kent has notified the recipients. 

Good day with Keri. Although she seems a little more confused, we had some good laughs. Ian has headed up to Camp Rockefeller to stake out a tent. Tomorrow we are heading up to Mom's to help for a couple of days but it's supposed to rain. We do what we can. I'm noticing that Ian is in Conway. He was supposed to be going to CJs house. I pray he stays out of trouble. 

Relationships

As the dementia progresses, I find that Keri and I are getting closer. We laugh at many things and there are few conflicts. Although there were never many, we both got agrevated from time to time.  I guess we just don't have time for petty stuff anymore. 

Unfortunately, we never see Ian anymore. He has a friend with a house where many college students gather. Apparently, Belles and Beaux frequently gather there and they frequently play games well into the night. Ian frequently stays over and spends every extra minute there. I sure pray they are good influences. Because he comes home so late and sleeps as late as he can, I literally never see him. When he is here, his ADHD keeps him from any conversation because of TV or his phone. It makes my sad, but we seem to have so little to offer him. Maybe it has something with him being an 18 year old, but he has to handle this struggle in his own way. 

Can't Sleep

It's 2:00 in the morning and I can't sleep. It's not unusual, but it is still disturbing. It always seems that all the weight of life descends in the wee hours. I read (until I finish my book) and then resort to other things. Tonight, it's these comments, unimportant to anyone but me. I guess I'll sync my mobile Bible app now. I was noticing that my Strongs Bible notes were not appearing on my iPad tonight in Bible class. Now there's something to do at 2:17 am. 

We are not now that strength which in old days 

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,-- 

One equal temper of heroic hearts, 
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will 
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. 

These are additional verses taken from Ulysses by Alfred Lord Tennyson. I used earlier verses in my header. 

Good Day

from "The Way We Were"

Memories
May be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget

So it's the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were

Good day! Keri got her hair cut and styled and a manicure and pedicure today. I think she feels better. 

A Different Adventure

This blog has always been about our adventures. We've posted during our two extensive periods in London and our four or five Zambia trips. The main purpose was always to document our experiences for ourselves but we were often able to share with those interested. We will not be traveling much anymore, but we are in the middle of another adventure. 

In 2013, Keri was diagnosed with vascular dementia. We had known for awhile that something was wrong. Her balance and perception were off and she had stopped driving. She had just turned 54. 

I guess I began noticing things as early as our 2007 trip to England. For my birthday that year, she wanted me to show her exactly what I wanted. I selected a china coffee mug and we spent a lot of time talking about it. Several days later I unwrapped a different mug. I just shrugged it off but it seemed strange. Later, when we arrived back in Searcy, she couldn't quite pull off our dessert event, "Just Desserts".

I started a diary to document everything but decided to destroy it last year. It was too depressing and I decided I didn't want to remember all the details. This will, I hope, look at the good times we will continue to have. Of course, I'll mention the challenges, but we will continue to laugh and live as long as God gives us breath. 

Interesting Several Days!

Clutch out on Honda (again), refrigerator dead, nail in rental car tire, ...but who is counting?

"In Sickness and in Health"

Twenty seven years ago, Keri and I were married at Trapnell Hall in Little Rock. Two older single people who decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, getting married at one of the nicest venues in Little Rock. It was scheduled to be an outdoor wedding, but because of rain, we decided at the last minute to move it inside. The florist rearranged everything in minutes and the result was all we could have wanted. The past 27 years have kept that theme. We've traveled and lived in England, Italy and Zambia. Even when staying in Arkansas, there hasn't been a dull minute.

I'm Back

The 2016 HIZ-Path group has left for Africa and I am not going with them. It makes me sad but "it is what it is." Thinking about it made me look for my blog and I finally found it. I think I will start posting again. Although I can no longer travel, we try to stay active, so I should have things to post. First of all, Ian has graduated from High School. I wasn't sure we would ever see him walk. He is planning to go to ASU-Searcy to complete his AA degree before going someplace to get his BA in mechanical engineering.